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Tuesday, September 12th, 2006
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my face can do some damage.
its been a minute since i updated this thing.
awesome.
out.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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| Subject: | erxgfnb |
| Time: | 1:50 pm. |
| Mood: |  sleepy. | | Music: | An Albatross - We Are The Lazer Viking. |
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goddamn i hate livejournal along with the rest of the internet.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, June 28th, 2006
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i've never felt so content on life until now.
realizing that everything i do, i get no recognition for, doesn't bother me anymore.
whats there to be depressed or angry about?
i've got everything i need, everything i want.
its not much, but when i think about it, it gets me through the day.
puts a smile on my face.
ever since i stopped taking my medication, i've actually felt alive.
full of emotion, not just some prescription brainwashing narcotic.
maybe its all the leftover crack i've been listening to.
who knows.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, June 22nd, 2006
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my car's engine blew up.
what a surprise.
i'm about to lose my job....
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everything was awesome while i was drunk and at the show tonight.
then i sobered up and came home, and everything just fucking went to shit. ditched. an exgirlfriend calling me and saying how much my life sucks. getting ditched again. just thinking about too much stuff. finding out a good friend attempted suicide last night. another friend calling me while he's driving drunk.... goddamnit...
i think i'm moving out on tuesday. even though i really shouldn't because i dont want this shitty job for at least another 6 months. being out on my own is awesome... but man. i need a new job. full time. lots of responsibility. i want it bad.
maybe i'll keep this job throughout the summer and go back to college. just so i'll actually have something to do with my time.
i just want to go somewhere far far away. like pennsylvania or california. at least i know some real motherfuckers there that will help me out. maybe go to georgia and live with my sister. fucking christ i want out of here.
"driving without a destination,
ignoring your conversation,
theres nothing left here anymore,
i'm getting out of here to explore,
leaving everything behind my back,
its your friendship that i lack."
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Saturday, June 10th, 2006
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i blew out my front tire and rolled over a driveway curb and almost hit a tree last night........ i was going 45mph. i almost pissed myself.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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looks like i gotta wait another 4-5 months before i can move out unless i find another roommate... fuck. and i'll be going on tour shortly after that. uuuuhhhhhh... well shit.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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2 weeks and 5 days. no drugs. score.
have over $600 saved. $150 is going to a guitar. cant wait to move outtttttttttttttttttt.
i've been trying to get a job at this screen printing place in dallas. but i dont think their havin it. oh well. i make plenty of money to support myself where i'm at right now.
work is aight. i'm only 20 working at domino's. at least i'm not the guys that are in their early 30's to early 50's working there delivering pizzas. i kinda feel bad for em. the other day, the oldest guy that works there (he's 51 i think), TJ, takes a delivery out to his car, and comes back in maybe 3 minutes later. he's a real soft spoken, sweet, old man. he says, "chris, my car wont start." and all i could think of was, "poor tj." he sounded so sad, but he's so optimistic. kinda felt bad for him. dude keeps his head up and does as much good as he can, but keeps getting kicked in the balls, basically.
yeah. uuuuuuhhhhh, i'ma stop now.
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oh hey.
yall can go fuck yourself.
stop trying to act liek yall know me. yall dont know shit. shut the fuck up.
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Wednesday, May 24th, 2006
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| Time: | 3:53 am. |
| Mood: |  crushed. |
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i know none of yall even know whats up anymore. if it wasn't for myspace, none of yall would even think about me. some yall aint even friends anymore. not even acquaintences. shits changing. i dont like it. at all.
but here's the story of my life in the past couple of weeks if you wanna read this rant:
nothing is good anymore. and nothing is working out. its back to how it was 2 years ago.
shit really hit the fan here at home tonight. i really need to find a place to stay somewhat close to here though so i dont have to drive far to work. dont make enough money for that shit. dont even know why i'm posting this on here. none of yall live close enough. managed to save $300 so far though. just in 2 weeks. which is pretty tight. its not much, but its a start. hopefully, i can save up at least $1000 for when i move out in august. or hell, save the entire summer and buy a new fucking car.
need to quit smokin and drinking so much. it gets old when you wake up in a different house every morning wondering how the fuck you got there.
theres this girl i'm diggin. yeah. she's rad. pretty feisty and shit.
but i'm taking a walk out of this hell hole.
later.
p.s. if you a friend, you'd gimme a call sometime, send me a text message, or some of that other shit. i dont know how to get ahold of yall half the time. lost all my numbers a while back. but not even half of yall responded. i dont know how to get your numbers. hell.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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i know i've said this before. But.
no more drugs.
i dont wanna fuck up my life more than it already is.
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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i had a dream that i filled the sink with cold water all the way to the top. after that, i dumped a whole bucket of ice in it. then proceeded to fully submerge my head for extended periods of time. then i woke up. :\
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alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol alcohol
yum.
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Thursday, April 20th, 2006
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its decided. and settled.
on july 31st, i'm moving to philadelphia. I'm giving myself a few months to find a job up there and an apartment. even if i dont find a job or an apartment, i'm going up there anyways. i'm saving up starting when i get my next paycheck.
dont try to talk me out of this. i hate this shithole.
p.s. shaved my head again.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, April 18th, 2006
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Tuesday, April 11th, 2006
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i want to move out. and come home to a woman everyday after work. or her come home to me after work. or we get home at the same time after work. and sit in front of the tv watching old movies and fox news. and eating at a dinner table while talking about the day. then going to sleep for the next day of work next to her with my arm around her. then wake up to her waking up from the alarm clock. then me eating breakfast while she's in the shower, then she eats breakfast while i'm taking a shower. or we take a shower together.(whatever i dont shower) then kissing eachother goodbye on our ways to work.
shit would be bad ass. but i have too many things keeping me occupied from looking for a full-time corporate job.
growing up aint easy. as much as i want to. i cant yet.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, April 1st, 2006
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last night i snorted coke and x... dude told me it was hydrocodone. kinda pissed me off. then it kicked in. brought back every memory of a year ago. i liked it too much. again.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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so you've grabbed my attention,
and your not letting go,
i'm enjoying this intervention,
and to the world i will show.
its everything i've hoped for,
its everything i've wished,
you're not just another score,
i'm looking for a lifetime,
of a king and a queen,
i want to live this dream.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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